Christian Bale Syndrome

For the last week I've been suffering from what can only be described as "Christian Bale Syndrome". It seems that whenever I, succumb to the same rhaspy, face-made-of-sand gargling as John Connor, except I don't have the Resistance fucking me in the eyes 24/7; I guess it's a good thing. Alternatively, it could be likened to the pitch black vocals of Dani Filth, but that would be too positive an analogy.

Still, as metal as it sounds, the fact remains that I can't use FALSETTO, nor any other super high notes I could molest prior, which is a complete bastard, given I've got to sing Breakout by the Foo Fighters in a matter of weeks at a gig. MASSIVE BUGGERY! That being said, it means that I have to sing properly and put my DIAPHRAGM to good use, if there ever was a use for it. Why does that have any relevance? The diaphragm is essentially the top quarter of the abdomen, so if that actually moves (which is more than I do on any particular day), then I get exercise FROM SINGING. Take that Wii SHIT!

But regardless, the problem is that even the music that you sing manages to make you conform to every stereotype in the book (assuming there is a book called "Stereotypes in Singing Technique: Christian Bale Syndrome, By Christian Bale"). Through singing "clean" (i. e: Not sounding cool, e. g: Stereophonics), you manage to appeal to a wider target audience, considering black metal is a niche (as is Bale metal), you become slimmer, becoming more like someone in a magazine.

Yes, I can boil ANYTHING down to the media or sociology.

Perhaps this needs more explanation: Metal or screaming vocals come largely from the throat, if not trained properly. This is why some screaming vocalists live will eventually sound like crap. However, if you're lucky you go all Wolverine and your throat turns into Adamantium. I digress. Singing from the throat requires little or no effort from the diaphragm, thus once a fat slob, you're always a fat slob. Promising!

P. S: The Christianity Party didn't win. Thank God!