I am the eggman, they are the eggmen...

I am the ARSEHOLE! (goo goo ga joo!) You see, I realised today how unfathomably bitter I can be. By that I don't mean I can be a wanker to anyone who challenges my way to the breakfast table when I wake up, nor do I mean when people laugh at jokes that genuinely aren't funny and I sit there alienated because I have good taste. I mean I have an answer to everything and it's always the antithesis of what people want to hear.

Someone talks about how amazing a Windows PC is. I immediately think about the blue screen of death, how shit Windows Movie Maker is, how many viruses there are for Windows (unless you've got Norton), how Macs can install Windows on them anyway, so why even bother with a PC? The list goes on.

Hell, I'm perhaps worse for things I love. I'm a huge Metallica fan, but that doesn't mean I'll not take the piss out of them if someone says how cool they are. I have hundreds of things I could say. It's almost my instinct to use my knowledge of a subject and manipulate it like I'm some kind of evil genius. My jokes are horrifically ironic, and it's no secret that 90% of them aren't funny, but they're considerably awesome in the tiny little world echoing around in my skull. It's always amusing to be facetious. After all, that Hitler's a pretty cool guy.

Additionally, I think it takes the piss that an assignment I've been given this week from my course is to start up a BLOG. Yes, they're FUCKING SERIOUS. Everyone who has Facebook blogs in their status updates. Everyone who's heard of it knows to a degree how it works. Why do we have to write a new blog on the Grimsby Institute's online facility that's not only ridiculously hard to navigate, but also nobody will fucking read. That's not a shot at the course tutor, that's a shot at the establishment trying to control and integrate the internet. Some people just don't realise that thanks to the international web-o-vision, the world shrank like a dick in a box of ice, in a room packed full of ugly motherfuckers; that, and while the world was shrinking someone on the outside picked up the world and bowled it down a hill. The ball's not going to stop and we can't see through the clouds to the floor yet.

That being said, it was probably 3D Realms' Duke Nukem development team who're responsible for this. They spent all the time they should've spent designing the game and put it into designing the whole internet and brainwashing the planet into thinking they're acting on their own independent thought. DEVIOUS BASTARDS.